My Boyfriend Cheated on Me

I'm being cheated on..now what?

If you've discovered the painful truth that the person you love is cheating on you, you are probably asking yourself "what am I supposed to do now?"

You must be thinking "How shall I react to such betrayal?"

There is no doubt that this is a complicated situation, filled with many emotions that leave you confused, not knowing what do next. All these mixed emotions makes it hard to take a wise decision.

So what should you do when you know for sure that your boyfriend has cheated on you?

Consider the following steps to help you cope in this difficult time.

Wait

The first thing you need to do is take things very slowly. Do nothing for the time being. Take your time to calm down. Don't make any decisions when you're angry. Despite of the intensity of what you may have discovered, do not go trashing the person who cheated on you or the one they cheated with. Rise above it, be the bigger person. Don't let their betrayal change who you are. Keep your sense of dignity and self worth by refusing to get dragged down by their awful deeds. Acting out of anger and confusion will only make matters much worse than they already are. Don't go changing your social media status, or posting about it. This is a personal matter and you don't need to broadcast it to everybody you know.

Surround yourself with Good people

The presence of close friends whose judgment and wisdom you deem appropriate is important to help you deal with your emotions. These trustworthy friends are usually the first to know, these are the people you want to express your wrath to. They may also help find the truth about what actually happened. Not letting anybody in on the situation will only leave you feeling hurt and alone.

Collect Evidence

In order to be able to confront your boyfriend, you need to make sure you have the facts of what took place. If you try to do this before putting your hands on actual facts you will most probably either be lied to or blamed. Sometimes the person being confronted will try to blame you for what they did wrong, make it seem like it's your fault, that you've somehow driven them towards cheating, Obtaining evidence will better prepare you to avoid that.

Confrontation

Confrontation is never easy, but you must realize that it is a step towards clarification and eventually healing. You need to know what exactly took place. And you need to know this directly from your boyfriend. Confronting them face-to-face, observing their body language and facial expressions is important, it will help you understand things better. Do not do this over the phone or online. Doing it in private is also crucial to get to the bottom of what has happened.

Deal with the source of the problem

While confronting your boyfriend, do not focus on other matters such as the person they've cheated on you with, don't even try to bring shame to the other person. This will consume you and you will only end up looking pathetic. Instead, focus on the main issue, try to figure out if your cheating boyfriend is truly sorry and is willing to repent for what they've done. Some people are only sorry they got caught. It will take you sometime to know whether your boyfriend truly regrets their betrayal of you or not. However, when confronted, some people become defensive and angry that is surely a tell-tale sign that they have no intention of never repeating this or even of ever getting back with you again. Try to be honest with yourself and see their reaction for what it is, not how you want to see it. Sometimes it's better to walk away and stay away.

Relationship Time-out

Before taking the decision of walking away from this relationship you may want to consider giving it some time-out. Deciding whether or not this relationship is worth saving will take some serious thinking. Give yourself room to think clearly, give your trustworthy friends a chance to counsel you on the matter. People out of the relationship looking in, may have much better judgement of it. Consider their opinion, accept their help. This is an important decision, put your feelings aside, and do what is in your best interest.

Healing Time

When trust has been broken, its recovery takes a long time. If you decide to stay in the relationship your boyfriend will have to understand and accept that it will take a long time to heal, if ever.

However if you decide that this relationship cannot be mended, end it and never look back. Allow yourself some time off to find yourself and become secure again. In the end, no matter what you do, some relationships simply cannot be saved. So don't bring yourself needless hurt by refusing to let go.

Seek the help you need

Drop your pride. It's happened to the best of us. If you feel the need to lean on your friends to feel good about yourself again, do so! It's what friends are for.

And don't waste your time and energy on hating them and what they've done to you, quoting Elie Wiesel "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

Don't victimize yourself for what happened. Know your own self-worth. Be strong, choose not to give them power over you and move on to lead a happy life. You are worth it.

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